What if you found out your bestfriend had a crush on you? Or your bestfriend betrayed you?
I'm sure many of you have experienced that. But what matters now is how did you handle it? Would it be fair if I said my experience is different and that I’ve been through worse or would you feel the unfairness?
Well then let me tell you my story. I had a bestfriend name, Marie. We were only 8 years old when we met. Our parents knew each other so we often hang out at each other's place. When I walked into her house, she ran up to me and hugged me with one of the biggest smile I've ever seen since then on, I knew this would be the beginning of a very beautiful friendship and I’ve never stopped calling her bestfriend ever since.
As we grew up, things took a different turn for me. She was the hottie and I was the nottie if you get what I mean. I didn't feel jealous because I knew my bestfriend loved me for who I am. Marie had a boyfriend she loved till the end of time. And of course I remained single. No guy in the right mind would even take a glance at me.
Marie was kind, caring, pretty, talented, intelligent. Everything a guy or anyone would ask for.
At the age of 14 I found out my mum had a miscarriage. I came home that night feeling exhausted from school. My mum called me to my room. She was sitting on my bed, her eyes looked swollen, her cheeks were pinkish red and she was squeezing a piece of tissue in her hand. I got a little afraid but I didn't want to assume stuff. She told me to take a sit and I did. She started talking about how she was walking down the stairs. It just happened last year, when she walking down, someone from the back pushed her and she started bleeding. She started shouting for help and coincidently Marie was there to help her. My mum told Marie not to tell anyone especially me because she knew how devastated I would be. I started to break down and I cursed and swear with all of my heart to whoever pushed my mum. I called Marie and she came over to my place as fast as she could. I spent the whole night crying in her arms. Thank God for a bestfriend like her.
About a month later, Marie came over to my place. She was crying. I asked her what happened? But she just couldn't speak. She cried so much that she didn't even have time to breathe, she would stop half way to take a breather but she continued crying. All I could do was hug her. It was 5 in the morning, I kept dozing off and her eyes were as swollen as a goldfish. Finally she spoke, “I'm pregnant.” My jaws dropped. Should I kill him for making my bestfriend pregnant or should I continue to be nice to him because he's the father of my bestfriend's child? I didn’t know what to say, the only thing I asked was, “so are you gonna keep it?” but she just shrug her shoulders.
Until this day I still think about my little sister that I could have. Oh how I wish she was here, I would be able to love her, hold her, play with her. I know I would be the best sister.
One afternoon after school, I was at Marie's place. She kept going to the toilet to pee so I decided to use her computer. Suddenly I heard a frail voice, “read her diary.” I thought it was the devil speaking because no way am I gonna invade someone's privacy.
As I was walking home, I started to think about it. Why would the devil ask me to read a 16 year old's diary? Isn’t it a little stupid? And this has got me extremely curious. The next day I went to Marie's house again and as usual she was in the toilet. I searched for her diary and it was under her bed, hidden under her make-up kit and Barbie doll house. I started reading it like a nerd studying for a class test. I flipped to the page where she wrote about the day my mum fell down the stairs- “Lucky colour of the day-black. I ran out of ideas so I decided to do the same thing as I did to Alicia, Carrie, Morris and Daine. I will be there at exactly 3.00 pm and I'll…”And then that frail voice came back, “run big sis” without thinking I immediately shoved the diary back. As I was walking home I started to think what just happened. Was it all just in my head because I miss my little unborn sister so much? But how did she know what was going on and what was going to happen? I knew she real now. She wants me to know something. Something dangerous and risky. This was happening too fast and too much for a 16 year old.
It took me a week to get hold of that diary again. This time I took it home and she didn't even notice it was gone. I continued reading it, “Lucky colour of the day-black. I ran out of ideas so I decided to do the same thing as I did to Alicia, Carrie, Morris and Daine. I will be there at exactly 3.00 pm and I know Mrs Paterson will be there, leaving the hospital. I refuse to share my bestfriend. I know that once Shermain would to have a little sister she wouldn’t have time for me anymore. I can’t and I won't be able to handle it. She's MINE. MINE! No one else's! No one can love her as much as me. I'm the best and I deserve her. “ - Of course now you would think Oh my gosh! And so many things would be running through your mind of what I would and could do but no, you’re wrong. I totally spaced out. My mind went blank and my mouth was wide open that I think a fly almost flew in. But there was one thing on my mind, Marie was OBSESSED. I continued reading the next few pages and I came across the page about the day she found out she was pregnant, I mean it wasn't hard to miss at all. The whole page was filled with doodles of middle fingers.
28 February 2011
I missed my period AGAIN!!! So for the sake of making myself feel secured I went to take a pregnancy test and screw this shit. It says positive! I should have said no to Uncle Brof. But I just really wanted to try out my new lingerie, I just bought last week ): I told him to use a bloody condem! Why didn't he listen! Why did I still let him?! Arghhh I hate myself! Now I have to live with this burden! Uncle Brof doesn't even want to admit it was his fault :/ Gosh life sucks. But well on the Brightside at least I have Shermain and probably me and Shermain can raise this kid together. In fact, we should get married! HAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, going off to Shermain's house now! Ciao!
Was my bestfriend lesbian? Slut? Hooker? Prostitute? Sibling killing whore? SHE HAD SEX WITH HER UNCLE?! All the unexpected happened. And to be honest all I did was go to her house, pass her diary to her mum and left. It's like I was never there. I didn't answer her phone calls neither did I reply her texts. All I could was just live a new life. Until this day, I still see her cycling pass my house looking at my window wondering when I'll come out. You may wonder if this disturbs me but nah. I'm happy the way I am.
Thank you little sis.
Friesinburger